Borderline personality disorder dating
This has lead to an reflex of always anticipating disaster; it's the only thing that brings them comfort, and eases the horrible anxiety of impending disappointment or trauma that surely awaits, after the calm.
For the Borderline, pain is of their pain, is what actually prompts self-mutilation in Borderlines.
The sad truth is, we can't know what we don't know yet~ so this is your chance to learn about BPD, but also gain invaluable insights about yourself.
People have told me that they just want to return to the 'good life' they had before they met their Borderline.
They've learned to shut-down feelings (or dissociate) during childhood--so it takes an enormous amount of stimulation in the form of chaos and drama in adulthood, to any loving/positive time you spend together.
For a child who's basically grown up in a war zone, life never felt stable for very long--and as soon as it did, the rug was pulled out from under them again.
If you suspect that you have these traits, please leave this website and redirect your attention to Family members and friends haven't a clue, or any frame of reference for the trauma you're experiencing, so their simple solutions of; "just get over it" or "leave him/her, and find someone new" never work.
It makes no difference how many times you point out his/her massive indiscretions during this hiatus by the way--they've now got a 'dealbreaker' to clobber you with, each time you try to reconcile.
It's as if this person has ripped the scabs off old ego injuries from childhood or adolescence you've worked really hard to surmount.
You've been pretty successful putting all that behind you up until now, which triggers shameful feelings and recrimination about how you could have allowed yourself to get into this position.
It’s that knot of anxiety in the pit of your stomach when you walk down the street.
You step off the train, your bag in front of your breasts, flinching lest the next passerby brush you “accidentally-on-purpose.” It’s never knowing whether your boss is leaning just a too close.